There's something comfortingly certain about an...
I’ve heard it said that one of the most dangerous things about anorexia is that you never feel done. Never feel like you have reached your limit, always able to cut down more, exercise more, keep to the rules more. I felt that way. But I felt so much more… View Post
Anorexia and calories are stalking me
I stopped counting calories using my iPhone app the minute I accepted recovery (23 April 2013). I’m still acutely aware of what’s in food – I actually have quite the nutritional knowledge base having spent months deciding on food based on its… View Post
Fearing an ED-free life
When I first started reading about recovery I didn’t understood what other people meant when they said they ‘feared’ living without ED. But the longer you live with something, whether it’s a job you don’t like or an annoying house mate, you get used to… View Post
Seeing past skinny
Today I told my dad about my ED. We live a few hours apart and in an ideal world I would have driven up and had a long chat with him about it over a cup of tea and box of kleenex but I settled for an average length phone call as I walked around a rather… View Post
When dinner time is fight time
I make a lot of jokes when I’m talking about ED. It’s good to relieve pressure with a bit of humour and when you talk openly about your bowl movements on the internet like I do sometimes it’s good to practice comical distancing. Over the next few weeks… View Post
Today I hit a rock on the bottom of the sea bed
There’s something about eating disorders and recovery that makes you feel like you need to hit rock bottom before you can push off. Personally, I think it’s an avoidance thing or a way to make you feel like you’re aiming for something. Really you’re just… View Post
I had a big room in the old house, space to spread four arms out, no need to throw old things out, room for all our clutter. But the fire took that room out, gutted the skirting boards and window frames, and melted the edges of the curtain rail. The centre of the carpet looked a battle ground, barron black now. The new room is much smaller, and I keep painting the pelmet but I...
Pull it tight Wood on wood over the floor fibers and metal divider, It’s a close shave but it always fits Space for a hairpin, Not much air within Just waiting to hear the click
Everyone must like something, and I like seeing painted pictures.